Emptiness.

Emptiness.

From all the books I have read, you are my favorite one.
He looked at me confused, then, his eyes lighted up like the sentenced I just spoke was the only thing he wanted to hear. ” I love you. I truly love you. And I can’t deny it anymore. I just can’t. You mean the world to me and I am scared because you are going to leave. Everyone leaves. And then, i’m going to be alone. I can’t let that happen, since I’ve met you.”
The sound of the words spoken broke something inside him. It was like a signal of help, because he looked at me all puzzled. I asked him what is wrong. The question came more like a whisper, and as I was staring blankly into his soul, he began talking :
” All my life I was doomed to failure. I was prepared for bad things to happen to me, because that was the rule. I never knew happiness. My family is messed up, you see. My mother is gone most of the time and my father is cheating on him. I never knew what a happy family is. But, since I’ve met you, I couldn’t think of a single bad thing that happened. You are my lucky charm. You truly are. I am in love with you for 4 months. I am in love with you because you make me feel real. Everyday I woke up I cannot wait to see you, kiss you and hold you tight in my arms. You see – his voice broke as tears were streaming down his face – you are the sunshine in my life. And I can’t think of losing you. Not now….not ever.”
He looked at me, crying. It was the first, and last time he ever told me this. It was the first and last time he cried in front of me. I kissed his cheek, wiped away the tears and i lied next to him for a period of time which felt like…forever. I knew that despite everything that will happen, he will stand by me. I knew that no matter what happens he loves me. And for me, that was enough.
***
I put the pen down as I started crying. ” You f****r”. It was over a year when that scene happened. It is definitely not a love story. He ripped my heart. He told me he loved me, and in the morning he was gone. There was no trace of him anywhere. His perfume on my pillow was gone. His clothes were not in my little drawer anymore. His favorite book, which he put perfectly on the shelf near mines, was no longer there. I searched for it. I looked over the shelfs, in the drawer, even under my pillow. But the book was gone, and also, him. It is like he disappeared. I lied there, on the empty bed, looking at the ceiling. Then my phone vibrated. I jumped, and opened my phone. It was not from him. I searched for his number, but it was gone. Its like he never even existed.

Did he?

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